For YOU to know... Thank You!

I never thought I would write in here again. But, every word in here has a special meaning. I don't know who read this anymore. But I want someone to read this, and that someone might be you, so that you'll know.

Years back you told me that I should have faith and I said that I never knew what faith is. But later I tried to find out, and at least have faith on that one person. 'Complete trust or confidence on someone' as the definition goes. And I did. So now I have faith that, you will achieve every best thing in life. It's the only faith I have. You showed me no matter how big your dreams are you can achieve those by working towards those. You are an inspiration in my life and told me its okay to dream no matter how much scared I am of those.

So on this special day, I remember you. Because, out of so many reasons you are a one big reason for where I am today, and for what I have achieved. Though you have drifted away from my life, I honour you for everything that you taught me, for making me believe. I thank you for showing me the path to be the best I can be. Most of all I am grateful for you for being in my life at least for a short while to make it better in every way.

If you are reading this, remember, that you changed a one girl's life all for the better. So she wishes that this good deed will take you to the best in this life and lives to come. 

- Hiru -

 20 - 05 - 2013

Excerpt from "Roaming Thoughts - Unedited" - Untitled

I feel and know that I am missing something....

Excerpt from "Roaming Thoughts - Unedited" - Road Trip...

I've being reading a lot lately.. that’s why I couldn't write more often. Any way, as usual I'm at office (where I really don't want to be), without having a single idea about what the hell I'm doing here, kind of strange..ha?
I was in bit of a traveling mode last week.. and i thought I really loved flying (though it was my first flying experience and it was a very short trip). I'm thinking about going on a road trip as soon as my degree ends and where I would be able to quit my job. But who knows, may be it'll always remain as a thought (Like all most all of my other wonderful thoughts). Good parents usually don't support these daring ideas (not their fault at all, its how the society works.. who knows may be I'll think the same way they think, in thirty years from now.. one can never say about future..).
So.. how would I like to do this road trip, in case I would never get a chance to go I would like to imagine..
I thought to have a back pack where I can carry all the necessities that I need and kick off from the Pettah bus station, and that my first destination would be Kaluthara and then Galle ('Coz my best friend lives near Galle). (And the last destination of the whole road trip should be hill country, Nuwaraeliya, as I'm in love with that city). But when I take the road map of Sri Lanka, its quite hard to cover all the places I want to visit according to my initial thought, without visiting the same area twice and because of the time constraints (Three months should be the maximum time limit). So now I'm in a bit of a confusion. I want to spend at lease three days in a single place. Then only I would be able to vist all the tourists attraction spots and other hidden beauties. I want to get mix with the crowd, get to know them, and to learn about skills that are passing from generation to generation which are unique to a specific town. I want to wear beautifully painted masks from Ambalanthota and eat "mora miris and Jaffana grapes' from Jaffna. I want to be on top of the hills and feel the clouds near by at Nuwaraeliya and also bathe the beauty of artistic beaches at Nilaweli and eastern coast. I want to feel the glory and grandeur of the ancient kingdoms of Anuradhapura, Polonnaruwa and Yapahuwa and also feel the magnificence and dignity of the nature castle, Kandyan Kingdom. I want to know the hard life of working hard against the hard soil and the glamour of the upcoming cities. In short, I want to feel and experience the diversity and extravagant beauty that this beautiful island, Sri Lanka (where I live) can offer, before setting off to see the beauties of the world.

"Certainly, travel is more than the seeing of sights; it is a change that goes on, deep and permanent, in the ideas of living." - Miriam Beard

Excerpt from "Roaming Thoughts - Unedited" - may be going wild

its being one hell of a long time.. exams, results, trips, meeting with friends.. but something is missing.. i feel that, and i know that.. out of no where today i figured out that i do lot of eating (junk food specially) when i'm out of mood.. may be thats why i'm getting fat.. hi hi.. after a long time i'm home today for the whole day.. i hate to hear people arguing or fighting, specially people i care about.. it freaks me out.. but.. (now your imaginations can or could go wild) .. i should eat.. work.. trust me i have lot on that section.. degree, music, some other thing i started lately.. these helps to keep me in track (barely) .. i started up reading.. but i don't feel like doing it all the time as i used to.. instead i starts wondering around with the characters.. looking at this i see lot of "i"s'.. may be i'm self centered.. i do this, i do that, i feel bad, i feel happy and all the nonsense about me.. then again i love latin music.. cool rhythms.. beats.. right now i'm listening to soundtrack of dirty dancing 2 havana nights.. very up beat..makes me want really listen to that.. closing my eyes and all.. it kind of distracts me.. which is good.. usually i read what i write when i'm writing.. today i try not to do that.. b'coz i don't want to.. i don't write about what ever the things i'm writing right now usually in here.. but then again, i feel like stepping out of the track.. and go wild once in a while.. so this may well be the start.. i'm eating cocktail mixture.. and i eat a lot.. okay.. may be i should stop now.. by the way i didn't clean up my room today.. anyway, may be you wanna dance now.. (after reading all my crap.. (if u even get to the end :O )) .. okay.. i read now.. here's a song for you to get your body moving..

Mya - Do You Only Wanna Dance Lyrics from Dirty Dancing Hava Nights

Funny thing is when I look into your eyes
I sense something so sincere in your disguise
You whisper secrets I hear only in my dreams
Then I wake up to your tele-smoke screen
I wait patiently while you play your game
'Cause in the end, I'll be the winner all the same
You'll see clearly when the song comes to a stop
I'll be the one blowing kisses from the top

(Mya)
(So baby, stop) Stop, you're surrounded
(I got my love) Love all around ya
(One wrong move) Move and I'll down ya
And that'll end ya
You should surrender
You'll never win
Unless you give in

(So stop, baby, stop) Stop, you're surrounded
(I got my love) Love all around ya
(One wrong move) Move and I'll down ya
And that'll end ya
You should surrender
You'll never win
Unless you give in
So won't you give our love a chance?
Or do you only wanna dance?

You put your lips very closely to my face
And then you run away and so begins the chase
I'll be the hunter, but boy, you better pray
'Cause when I want ya, I'll get you anyway
You know what I wanna do
It ain't nothing new
I'm tired of dropping clues
So, gonna step to you
Will you rise to my occasion?
Or will you make me change your station?

Stop, you're surrounded
(I got my love) Love all around ya (Uh)
(One wrong move) Move and I'll down ya
And that'll end ya
You should surrender
You'll never win
Unless you give in

(Stop) Stop, you're surrounded
(Oh, I got my love) Love all around ya
(One wrong move) Move and I'll down ya
And that'll end ya (Uh)
You should surrender (Uh)
You'll never win
Unless you give in
So won't you give our love a chance?
Or do you only wanna dance?

If you take my hands
And follow my lead
I'll make you dance (I can make you dance)
But if you get my feet (Get my feet)
And miss the beat (And miss the beat)
Then I can't take that chance (Then I can't take that chance)
If you take my hands (Oh)
And follow my lead (Oh, Oh, oh-oh)
I'll make you dance (I can make you dance)
But if you get my feet (Get my feet)
And miss the beat (And miss the beat)
Then I can't take that chance (I can't take it)

(So stop it) Stop, you're surrounded
(I got my love) Love all around ya
(One wrong move) Move and I'll down ya
And that'll end ya
You should surrender
You'll never win
Unless you give in

(So stop) Stop, you're surrounded (Baby stop)
Love all around ya
(One wrong move) Move and I'll down ya
And that'll end ya (Uh)
You should surrender (Uh)
You'll never win
Unless you give in

(Stop, baby, stop) Stop, you're surrounded
(I got my love) Love all around ya (All around you)
Move and I'll down ya
And that'll end ya
You should surrender
You'll never win
Unless you give in

(So stop) Stop, you're surrounded
(I got my love) Love all around ya (All around you)
Move and I'll down ya (Uh-uh-uh)
And that'll end ya (Uh-uh-uh!)
You should surrender (Uh-uh-uh!!)
You'll never win
Unless you give in
So won't you give our love a chance?

"It all comes down to who's by your side" - A Walk to Remember - Nicholas Sparks (1965 - ...)

Excerpt from "Roaming Thoughts - Unedited" - Untitled

I was staring at the screen for a long time without writing anything. Conversations that weave up in my mind, which I think that would be good to write, vanishes in to thin air as soon as they appear. Life is a time bomb which is waiting for the right time to get exploded. For some the right time does come, for some it doesn't. And some defuse the bomb because of the fright of it.
Again I stare, because of the uncertainty of the things that I should write which comes in to my head.
Funerals, always make me think again about life. Sometimes I feel that I'm close to dead than the alive. Well maintained cemeteries are beautiful. And they fascinate me. Not only the dead who can find peace there, but also well alive people like me can find peace there. Some of the dead leave behind a legacy. A legacy that should be outshine by the divine people who are alive. Otherwise the flow would be flawed. There won't be a future for the future.
How can a person be in two places at once? Or go behind most contrasting life paths at once? Because I want to be able to do both. Otherwise the balance would be hampered severely.

What I love most, I do not have. What I have, I cherish most.
We meet strangers, and sometimes make friends out of them.
We meet friends, and sometimes make strangers out of them.
Life is too short, for all these bonds.
It should be free, like the wind that blows.

"I feel within me a peace above all earthly dignities, a still and quiet conscience." - William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616)

Excerpt from "Roaming Thoughts - Unedited" - A Red Rose

"I disliked roses. Yes, quite extraordinary thing to do. I never understood the pureness of a rose, specially a red rose. But now, if I say quite astonishingly.. I love a rose, a red rose. Yet, it's far gone beyond my reach.

History has his mark upon this beautiful red rose. In the colour of blood to the softness like a feather in it's petals, it gives happiness to a young girl, binds the unbind, gives comfort in shattering times and finally reaches the heart of unreachable. But sometimes one can also be irrecoverably wounded by a thorn of a red rose. Thousands of writers over the undying centuries have written uncountable things around a red rose.. Love, hatred, undying passion, desire.. But a single tear drop on petal of a red rose, when it is given hand to hand, is profoundly bound with thousands of unspeakable words.

I've heard and seeing somewhere that a black rose signifies "goodbye". A black rose that I may have now, but I forever love a red rose, a red rose which its color is from me, which its wetness is from me, and which its thorns attached to me."

“But he that dares not grasp the thorn
Should never crave the rose. ” - Anne Bronte (1820 - 1849)

Excerpt from "Roaming Thoughts - Unedited" - Scribble

I hardly keep track of the things I write. May be because it's kind of hard to do that. Sometimes I love writing, and it gives me so much strength. But there are times that I get really tired of it, not because I don't love it, but simply because I'm tired of the things around me. I scribble things here and there, whenever a thought pops in to my head. So I have number of notepads with incomplete writings. And when I find those after sometime, I wonder whether I ever wrote those things.
I never call or consider my self as a writer, at least not yet. It's simply because I think I lack many things which make a good writer, language skill, knowledge, concentration and mainly devotion and many other things. Some day I may have all these things within me. Until that day I continue scribbling... like the one below...

"I would love to see your smiling eyes...
Because I see none these days
Even in mirror,
two sorrowful eyes gaze at me..
So I would love to see your smiling eyes
'Coz it would bring smile to me.."
(01-04-2008)

"A writer is a person for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people." -
Thomas Mann (1875 - 1955)

Excerpt from "Roaming Thoughts - Unedited" -On the Sea Shore

"I love walking by the sea.

I see sea five or six days per week throughout the year, nearly two hundred and seventy to three hundred and twenty four days per year. That's because I work and study near sea. Every time I walk near to the only window of my work place I can see this big beautiful blue lady waving, humming and sometimes staying really still. And I get fascinated each and every time.

I love walking by the sea. But the irony is that I have never really done that in the sense of doing that for the past... well, for the entire time I have lived. Sad. May be because I never had the chance, maybe I didn't want to go alone without having anyone to walk with me holding hands, may be because nobody ask me to or maybe because nobody know that I love that or may be because I'm too busy with my monotonous lifestyle, whatever the reason is I never did, and maybe I never would.

So today I walk by the sea all by myself while writing this. I imagine…

"There's everything in the blue sky, stars, clouds and even moon. As I step in to the mild sand of the shore taking off my slippers to my hand I feel stars far far away watching this little girl in a white dress, walking all alone in the beach. I can feel how the sand gets in between my toes, how the beautiful waves come and touch my bare feet and how it sweeps off the footsteps I just made in the sand. The cold chill I get from the sea wind warms my heart.

I fold my arms and I walk, and walk. There's no one to stop me, no one to watch me except stars, no one to ask questions, no one to guide again except stars, and I feel free. I feel the warmth of the sea breeze, I hear the voice of this beautiful blue lady, though I miss someone to walk by my side, I'm happy. Away from life, I feel the beauty.

And I sit in the shore and I watch. I see a vague image of a sailing ship in the horizon. I can't separate the sea from the sky, everything has become one. My free set hair blows away and I wonder who could be in that sailing ship.

It's getting colder and late, so I get back to my feet and I walk back in the same way I came, in to my monotonous life. But I treasure the moment and everything I felt, beauty of the Mother Nature, and I walk away until this beautiful lady calls me again to be with her. " "

" So I love walking by the sea. " - Me (2008-08-06)

Excerpt from "Roaming Thoughts - Unedited" - Stop

"It's being ages since I wrote something. My mind is kind of stuck. May be it's because of this dull air or may because of exam heat. Don't know why. I want to clear my mind. I want all the unwanted thoughts get out of mind and keep only the wanted ones. But what exactly do I want? That's remains an unanswered question.

Everyone of us are on a rat race. We run and run, without thinking to stop even for once. But sometimes we see someone watch us running. This someone wait by the side, folding his arms, having a slight smile in his face and a twinkle in their eyes. This someone silently dare us to stop. He dares us to think why we run, what's our goal, what do we get in the end. He dares us to appreciate and value things we take for granted in our lives, to understand the value of life. He dare us to accept and treasure the moments of happiness of life and be content with life. He again and again dare us to stop. But it's our choice, whether to stop for a moment and feel the strength it gives or to run forever without a break and finally, may be fall apart. "

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."
-John Lennon (1940 - 1980), "Beautiful Boy"

Excerpt from "Roaming Thoughts - Unedited" - Hero

" When the happiness is gone and loneliness is stuck with you, you won't see roses blooming from your window pane, instead you'll see nightmares everyday. It's amazing how most people remember things by heart that they should forget, and forget things they should remember by heart. We fancy our selves we can forget and move on, but when you see your haunting memories come through a nightmare, you wake up with a sudden jurk. And it is then that you actually begin to think what exactly happened.
We watch movies, and almost all the time there's a good side, bad side and a clash between them and the good side conquer the bad side, and we fell in love with them. Why? Because in reality it could be quite the opposite. The person who can conquer the battle field within himself is the true hero.
Who knows, someday you may see the rose petals again, when you become a hero or you may not if you don't want to. "


" True heroism consists in being superior to the ills of life, in whatever shape they may challenge us to combat. " - Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821). French general.