Excerpt from "Roaming Thoughts - Unedited" - Scribble

I hardly keep track of the things I write. May be because it's kind of hard to do that. Sometimes I love writing, and it gives me so much strength. But there are times that I get really tired of it, not because I don't love it, but simply because I'm tired of the things around me. I scribble things here and there, whenever a thought pops in to my head. So I have number of notepads with incomplete writings. And when I find those after sometime, I wonder whether I ever wrote those things.
I never call or consider my self as a writer, at least not yet. It's simply because I think I lack many things which make a good writer, language skill, knowledge, concentration and mainly devotion and many other things. Some day I may have all these things within me. Until that day I continue scribbling... like the one below...

"I would love to see your smiling eyes...
Because I see none these days
Even in mirror,
two sorrowful eyes gaze at me..
So I would love to see your smiling eyes
'Coz it would bring smile to me.."
(01-04-2008)

"A writer is a person for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people." -
Thomas Mann (1875 - 1955)

Excerpt from "Roaming Thoughts - Unedited" -On the Sea Shore

"I love walking by the sea.

I see sea five or six days per week throughout the year, nearly two hundred and seventy to three hundred and twenty four days per year. That's because I work and study near sea. Every time I walk near to the only window of my work place I can see this big beautiful blue lady waving, humming and sometimes staying really still. And I get fascinated each and every time.

I love walking by the sea. But the irony is that I have never really done that in the sense of doing that for the past... well, for the entire time I have lived. Sad. May be because I never had the chance, maybe I didn't want to go alone without having anyone to walk with me holding hands, may be because nobody ask me to or maybe because nobody know that I love that or may be because I'm too busy with my monotonous lifestyle, whatever the reason is I never did, and maybe I never would.

So today I walk by the sea all by myself while writing this. I imagine…

"There's everything in the blue sky, stars, clouds and even moon. As I step in to the mild sand of the shore taking off my slippers to my hand I feel stars far far away watching this little girl in a white dress, walking all alone in the beach. I can feel how the sand gets in between my toes, how the beautiful waves come and touch my bare feet and how it sweeps off the footsteps I just made in the sand. The cold chill I get from the sea wind warms my heart.

I fold my arms and I walk, and walk. There's no one to stop me, no one to watch me except stars, no one to ask questions, no one to guide again except stars, and I feel free. I feel the warmth of the sea breeze, I hear the voice of this beautiful blue lady, though I miss someone to walk by my side, I'm happy. Away from life, I feel the beauty.

And I sit in the shore and I watch. I see a vague image of a sailing ship in the horizon. I can't separate the sea from the sky, everything has become one. My free set hair blows away and I wonder who could be in that sailing ship.

It's getting colder and late, so I get back to my feet and I walk back in the same way I came, in to my monotonous life. But I treasure the moment and everything I felt, beauty of the Mother Nature, and I walk away until this beautiful lady calls me again to be with her. " "

" So I love walking by the sea. " - Me (2008-08-06)

In the memory of my grandmother....

It's being a while.. Last seven days of my life has being hectic.

Nearly a week ago my grandmother passed away. She was full of life, talking, laughing and having a good time with her grand kids in one moment and in the next moment she was gone, just like that. She went away without troubling anyone even for a single second. We lost her charisma, her love, her smiling face and every other small detail about her in the matter of few minutes for ever. She left a moaning space in every body's heart.

It's very hard to watch her daughters, sons, grand children, great grand children and in-laws fall in to tears helplessly, in very odd moments. She was a true woman. And our lives has changed a lot by what happened. No more visits to grandmother's place on Avurudu or Vesak. It's like loosing the knot that kept us tight together. It'll never be the same anymore.

Her children believes that she is suddenly taken away from us to be in a better place. A place where she'll meet my grandfather again. My grand father passed away exactly six years ago. And their children thinks he called her to be with him, to have another life, full of love, happiness, understanding and trust. Today my mother said that my grandfather has loved my grand mother lot more than she loved him back, so that they always had a way to solve problems without having a single argument. And my mother says he always used to say to my grandmother that "I won't leave alone, I'll always take you with me." So may be after six years, at the age of 84 he has taken her with him, to love and cherish another life.

And finally I want my love and life to be like theirs, INSEPARABLE.

Back Again..

Good day everyone.. It's being a long time. My busy schedules and my kind of boring mind which held me last few days has kept me from blogging. :O

Anyway I just dropped in to say that I started a new blog in Sinhala. Something I tried for quite a sometime, and yesterday I finally got done.

Have a look.. :)

"දින සටහන් ... " : "Day Notes"

Still it's a small beginning. Hope to make my way through..

Excerpt from "Roaming Thoughts - Unedited" - Stop

"It's being ages since I wrote something. My mind is kind of stuck. May be it's because of this dull air or may because of exam heat. Don't know why. I want to clear my mind. I want all the unwanted thoughts get out of mind and keep only the wanted ones. But what exactly do I want? That's remains an unanswered question.

Everyone of us are on a rat race. We run and run, without thinking to stop even for once. But sometimes we see someone watch us running. This someone wait by the side, folding his arms, having a slight smile in his face and a twinkle in their eyes. This someone silently dare us to stop. He dares us to think why we run, what's our goal, what do we get in the end. He dares us to appreciate and value things we take for granted in our lives, to understand the value of life. He dare us to accept and treasure the moments of happiness of life and be content with life. He again and again dare us to stop. But it's our choice, whether to stop for a moment and feel the strength it gives or to run forever without a break and finally, may be fall apart. "

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."
-John Lennon (1940 - 1980), "Beautiful Boy"

Excerpt from "Roaming Thoughts - Unedited" - Hero

" When the happiness is gone and loneliness is stuck with you, you won't see roses blooming from your window pane, instead you'll see nightmares everyday. It's amazing how most people remember things by heart that they should forget, and forget things they should remember by heart. We fancy our selves we can forget and move on, but when you see your haunting memories come through a nightmare, you wake up with a sudden jurk. And it is then that you actually begin to think what exactly happened.
We watch movies, and almost all the time there's a good side, bad side and a clash between them and the good side conquer the bad side, and we fell in love with them. Why? Because in reality it could be quite the opposite. The person who can conquer the battle field within himself is the true hero.
Who knows, someday you may see the rose petals again, when you become a hero or you may not if you don't want to. "


" True heroism consists in being superior to the ills of life, in whatever shape they may challenge us to combat. " - Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821). French general.

An Inspiration of Mine...

What do you do if you have so much work to do in a limited time, and yet you are so tired and and you cannot make head or tail of the things you have to do?

For me the answer is simple... Take a break. :D (And it should be a break NOT a vacation ;) ) To me it often gives enough time to adjust my self for a fresh start. So usually after that I can figure out some of the problems I have in my hand.

These days I have a busy calender. Examinations, course work, office work, work from here, work from there, one can call these days are hectic. So yesterday I had a tutorial to submit by yesterday evening, which I haven't even started by the time. I had to finish it within the night at least to give it in today morning.

Guess what I did? I watched TV instead of doing that. Why? Because I needed a break. ;)

But it paid off well. I was able to do the work and send the tutorial by today morning. :)

Word of warning: This might not work for everyone.

So what did I watch in the TV...?
It was a program called "Alakamandawa" wich is telecasted in the channel "Rupawahini". It's about people who have worked towards the development in Art in Sri Lanka. And yesterday's program was on late Mr Mahagama Sekera, a prominant figure in Sri Lankan Art.

And it reminded me of a person I value. Though I'm not connected to literature by profession, it stands as one of passions in life. And when it comes to Sri Lankan literature, late Mr Mahagama Sekera is the, THE figure I adore. His work inspires me, make me understand about life in a deep way. I can read his poetry over and over again. I have read, "Maknisadayath", "Rajathilaka Lionel saha Priyantha","Vyanga" and "Prabuddha"(One of my favourite books which I have read over and over again, but still cannot grasp the deep meaning of every line in the poetry).

Born on 7th April of 1929 in Radawana of Colombo District, as the only child of Maha Gamage John Appuhami and Ranawaka Achchige Rosalin, late Mr Mahagama Sekara did an inspirational, outstanding and unforgettable contribution towards, Sinhala song, poetry, novel, short stories, art and cinema. He passed away in the age of 47 leaving behind an unmachable legacy. His death is considered as a tragic lost for the Sri Lankan art.

Find More: Late Mr Mahagama Sekara

America Votes..

So far only thing I have done in this year is, giving you a new year greeting. Hmm... I have to say I'm thoroughly disappointed with my self. ;) So Why I haven't being writing?... May be because I spend my time on reading more in past couple of months. Reading makes me carried away..

So.. what am I to write? what do you want to hear? and what do I want to tell you? One thing I
can say for sure, don't read too much of romantic novels..it kind of gets in to you (hi hi just kidding ;) ) yeah.. apart from that I can easily tell you about the American presidential candidate nomination election..

You must be wandering why on earth do I have to write about American presidential candidate nomination election.. Well after all, this big boss plays a great role in the future of developing world whether we like it or not..

My fourteen year old brother has a very unique interest towards the news happening around the world.. specially in USA. I have to say it's he who got me in to this. He is very keen on finding information about American politics. So he was following this even before the election started. Well.. as the big sister I HAD to keep up with his knowledge. So I started to dig up the news about election. And it has become part of my daily routine to look in to this election news.

So who would be the next presidential nominee for the Democratic party? (I'm not interested in Republican party at all, because they will do no good when it come to the other countries of the world(look what they have done to Iraq)) For people who have no clue about American politics, I have to say unlike in our country, USA only has two big political parties, no tiny winy political parties we have. This election could mark history in USA. Even though South Asian countries like mine has experienced powerful women leaders, this is the first time in American history that a woman run for the presidential nomination. So if Hillary Rodham Clinton wins the Democratic nomination, she might end up being the First Woman President of United States of America. On the other hand if her rival Barack Hussein Obama wins the Democratic nomination, he might end up being the First African American President of United States of America, which also mark the history.

It's amazing to see the battle between these two candidates. Obama, first time senator being a visionary and inspiring people to gather around him lays a path to a new change in American politics. And Clinton with some thirty years of experience in politics says she is best suited for the position because of her experience.

Personally I like if Obama gets the nomination. Watching from outside, I think he has what it takes to lead a country. His vision, the way he speaks, his plans, even his novelty to Washington DC, and most importantly his experiences in living in Indonesia as a child and his multi national family background inspires me as some one out side from USA.

Anyway it's up to American people to decide who should be their president. I hope they choose wisely as it directly or indirectly effects other countries as well.


So if you are interested in finding more about this (as I am), you can dig in to following sites..

Barack Obama
Hillary Clinton
CNN - America Votes

So On and So Forth... I'm on to a New Year... And Belated Greetings Everyone... :D "Happy New Year"

It's ten days past new year. Still I don't feel like blogging about the new year. But inspite of my laziness, here we go...

It has almost become a tradition, when we write about new year, first to say things about the past year.. well.., 'coz ten days has gone from the new year I thought of doing otherwise. So firstly here we go about the new year..

The main thing is I have actively taken up my old habit again.. reading. Well, as always it makes me feel FREE. I'm going around the world through that, and in these days sometimes I'm in post World War I era in America flying airplanes(Harry Bingham's "Glory Boys") and sometimes in England in the first half of 19th century(Charles Dickens's "David Copperfield"). :D

Anyway though there aren't much work these days(as the lectures has not started yet), this year is going to be a very busy one. Full of exams and other things too. It's good to have a busy year ahead(even though sometimes it's so hard to keep up), because it'll keep my out of the way of unwanted things.

And yeah.. for the account.. this year has being a terrific year to the country from the day ONE, when it comes to BOMBS!. From the beginning of the year to this day(which is only a very short period of time) we experienced three bomb explosions and a gunshot murder, killing two parliamentarians and more soldiers and civilians only in Colombo area. Hmm... (At least the government decide to abrogate from the Cease Fire Agreement, which is a brilliant thing. May all the strength be with our brave soldiers to vanquish the terrorists. )

So lets go to the past year.. I read in one of my friends blogs that the past year has being a very good one compared to previous one. Three cheers to him and great to hear others think like that.. because for me last year has being.. er.. what do you call it.. disastrous?.. worst chapter of the book of life?.. or unforgettably changing?.. well one can tell that it was a combination of all of the above. (Really happy that I got in to the habit of reading again..
you can forget almost everything when you are reading.. at least that's the way for me.) But I have to admit.. there were wonderfully happy moments too.. :)

So on and so forth, with nothing much within me I'm in a new year, hopefully thinking that this year would be at least a pleasant year. :D

P.S.

I think I'm in need of a voice recorder to put out every good, bad, odd things comes to my head. Or else, who knows.. I might explode.. hi hi ;D